In the midst of a confused relational world people crave for stability and faithfulness in relationships. Increasingly nothing is thought of as permanent or absolute. People are living as sovereigns over their own lives. The result is a relationship anarchy that is filled with pain and difficulty.
Why have so many people left the traditional relationship model in favour of other arrangements? There are many reasons which include moving God to the periphery of our lives and the fear of commitment in a world filled with fear and insecurity. Yet in the midst of all this confused thinking people sill long for permanence and closeness in their relationships. The Bible argues that the marriage of a man and woman is an arrangement given by God for our personal benefit as well as being the bedrock of society. This arrangement can be entered into with advantage whether we are believers or not.
I am not saying that only traditional church weddings are the only valid act of commitment – I am sure that many people have entered into faithful committed lives in many different ways. I am saying that faithfulness is at the centre of real commitment and that without it relationship will falter and fail.
If couples were faithful to one another in sexual activity it would make a tremendous difference to stability in relationships. Promising to live together for life in a sexually faithful way is a huge promise to make and keep. I am convinced of this – that playing the field and moving from partner to partner will never produce any meaningful relationship: it will never allow real love to grow and develop (this is greater and deeper than sexual activity!)
The combination of selfishness with sexual licence is an explosive mix. People who make decisions based on a if it pleases me I will do it agenda, wreak havoc in the lives of others without caring about consequences. The statement of our age is not, why are you doing this but why not do this! Sex has become a recreational activity to be indulged in just for the buzz it gives - if we are not getting it off with others we are missing out! Look at the way. T.V. dismisses the struggle for sexual faithfulness - has any character on the soaps not had sex with nearly everybody else in the show? The printed page challenges the normal pattern of behaviour; sex always sells more papers! We are being squeezed into thinking that we are abnormal if we believe and practice sexual faithfulness.
Unfaithfulness has real consequences. If we don’t learn to live in a controlled way as sexual beings, understanding the proper context of sexual activity we are headed for chaos! It is a different lifestyle that is essential, not a promotion of safe sex within casual sexual contact. Giving out free contraception or morning after pills is an effective condoning of lifestyle practice that has real consequences. Planned faithlessness is part of our health education programmes!
relationship and sexual activity are linked. Relationships should lead to sex, not the other way around! Sex should be the pinnacle of a good relationship and should not be thrown away cheaply.
There is a better way – people can live happy fulfilled lives being faithful to one partner.
Sex should be preserved for relationships and marriage is the best relationship.
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Newry Baptist Church
31-33 Lower Catherine Street